Want to burn someone with a savage good return that goes straight to their heart? This is the perfect comeback show for any occasion!
Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? Damn it, why didn’t she think of it earlier! Next time the cat gets your tongue Here’s a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. Wherever you are!
Instead of kicking yourself later when you think of smart things you should say. Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case.
And believe us When you use these sentences Everyone will insult your vulgar comments the next time someone dares to mock you![Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]
A good comeback that is so fierce that they burn!
Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? Now you can be! All you have to do is save this page. Or remember some of our favorite insults from the list below. then you will be ready
The ultimate comeback that shows off your inner smart pants.
This comeback is best for situations where you don’t just want to insult someone—you want to own the room.[Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]
1. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world
2. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait.
3. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty.
4. I like to make you look disgusting. But it seems that you already have
5. Your hair looks great! How do you make the nostrils come out like that?
6. I’ve seen you before… but last time I had to pay the entrance fee.
7. I would love to see things from your point of view. But it’s almost impossible to get your head that far.
8. Your face seems to be on fire. And someone tried to get a baseball bat.[Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]
9. Why can you be such an idiot? But I’m not okay with pointing out?
10. Her mouth moved, but I only heard “blah blah blah”??
11. You’re so fat. You can sell shade.
12. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. However, I can’t remember anything about a fool.
13. Is your family tree a cactus? number? It’s funny because everyone in there is a coward.
14. You will never be half the man of your mother.
15. They used to call them “Jumpolines”?? until your mother jumps to one
16. Just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you have to act like a gamecock.
17. I’m sorry. Is that comment meant to offend me? The only thing that offends me right now is your face.
18. Someday you will go far hope you are there
19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime
20. I will sue my parents if I have a face like you.[Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]
A really fierce comeback
A nasty comeback doesn’t require much ingenuity. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity.
21. OK, who ordered the ventilator?
22. You sure have a stately shelf for men.
23. Your sister likes it dirty.
24. I always rooted for the little ones. That’s why I root for your penis.
25. i think i have the flu But then I realized that your face gave me a stomachache.
26. Hey, where did you get your nose from? Is it “before” ?? A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right?
27. Some people may have thyroid problems. But I can tell you’re fat because you’re lazy.
28. I don’t know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy.
29. How much do you charge to deliver an STD?
30. Is that a scar on your face? Too bad, it’s just your mouth.
31. you are a gangster A truly humble life
32. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too.[Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]
33. I’ll bet your voice causes a seizure.
34. You are the reason terrorists hate us.
35. Missing you that doesn’t exist makes me want to help myself.
36. Stand still so I can hit you with my truck.
37. I think of an unfair life every time I see you.
38. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you
39. I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me.
40. instead of listening to your opinion. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead?[Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]
A hilarious comeback that will blow everyone apart.
The following answers do not require ingenuity. but want a funny bone
41. Oh, an idea pops into your head? It must have been a long and lonely journey.
42. How did you get here? Has someone left your cage open?
43. I’ll hit you, but that would be animal cruelty.
44. The world is crowded. Go home.
45. Don’t let your mind be distracted. It’s too small to be alone.
46. this is an idea go play in traffic[Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]
47. Have you changed your mind? Does the new one work better?
48. Nice dress. I bet if you were standing on the corner. you will make money
49. hide! The garbage truck has arrived!
50. I’m a little busy right now. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions.
51. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital.
52. Keep talking. One day you might say something really smart.
53. you are like monday no one likes you
54. Unfortunately, you can’t Photoshop your personality.
55. How impressive! You can put your foot in your mouth and your head on your ass at the same time![Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]
56. You should come with a warning label.
57. I’m sorry to hurt your feelings. I think you already know that you are a social worker.
58. Acting like a prick won’t make you grow up.
59. Your face has only one problem: I can see.
60. It’s good that you don’t let education get in the way of your ignorance.[Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]
A sarcastic comeback for the perfect insult!
Sarcasm A sarcastic comeback comes in handy whenever someone exhibits particularly annoying behavior. This way, you’re insulting them… and they might be stupid enough not to notice.
61. I don’t know whether to laugh at you or pity you.
62. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have.
63. You’re not as bad as people say, you’re worse.
64. Now I understand why some animals eat their young.
65. It’s okay, keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested.
66. Talking is cheap—but then again, so are you.
67. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person.
68. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes![Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]
69. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice.
70. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today?
71. If I would accept you as you are I had to lie to myself that I liked you.
72. Are you being bullied a lot?
73. I don’t mind you talking too much. As long as you don’t mind that I don’t listen.
74. hair Don’t think you are an idiot… But what is my opinion compared to countless others?
75. I know you’re not a fool But maybe you’ll be adopted someday.
76. I used to think you had a sore throat. I now have a much lower opinion than yours.
77. I like to insult you but you may not understand
78. If you are twice as smart as you are now show that you are stupid
79. impressed! I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head.
80. less rotten meat than you[Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]
A smart comeback that makes you boast smart.
A smart comeback doesn’t just show your dissatisfaction. But it also shows your intelligence. What’s wrong?
81. You like nature What does it do to you?
82. The opposite attracts, right? I hope you find someone who is good looking, honest, smart and cultural.
83. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public
84. I don’t think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking.
85. You are as good as a bowling ball.
86. Ah…it’s cute when you talk about things you don’t understand.
87. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? because you are highly qualified
88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level.
89. You’re stupider than a snake glove
90. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within.
91. I envy people who don’t know you.
92. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head.
93. You work for three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.
94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer.
95. I suggest you search for a little soul. You may find one
96. Usually people live and learn. you just live
97. You’re proving that dung can learn to walk and talk.
98. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore.
99. I don’t know where you look. But I hope you keep the receipt.
100. You look tired. Do you miss me?
101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil[Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]
Sometimes thinking hard can be difficult. Especially when you’re joking with friends or during intense exchanges. Don’t get caught with nothing to say. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. Then you will be ready to win every argument.