Do you find yourself in limbo and have no idea what’s going on? Let these tips help you find out if they’re spying on you.
There are many terms in the dating world that have been invented to describe all the complex emotions, mind games, and relationship motivations. Terms like ghosting, tuning, and DTR, but more recent terms have emerged to describe something quite devious. and called sitting
It’s more common than you might think. and sometimes We have all been placed or placed on top of other people. Whether we know it or not But what is a bench and how do you know if this has happened to you?
What is a bench?
Comparisons are a way for someone to put you in a boundless state. Until they decide if they’re really interested in committing to you. Think of the sport when players sit on the bench. They will not be in the game. but on the sidelines in case they want to return
This has the same effect as the people who take care of you in your dating life. You are not playing now. But just in case they run out of options or decide they need you. They know you will be there.
Table setting, or sometimes called bread-crumbing It’s a way for them to make sure you’re not being ignored. while retaining their options. It means they can use little effort. minimal effort And also know that you will be by their side when they decide to appear. [Read: Cushioning and why using this tactic just makes you a jerk]
It happens a lot through text messages. social media and online dating sites This is because it is a safe and comfortable place to hide without being forced to follow any plans. Having a wide variety of options gives them more ego. And as a backup in case you decide to walk away and leave them no one.
How can you tell if you’re being benched?
Think you escaped from someone holding you back? Here are 17 ways to tell if you’ve fallen in love with it without realizing it. [Read: 15 signs you’re being led on and they’re taking you nowhere!]
#1 they are hot and cold After texting and flirting for a while For no reason, they become distant or say things that seem inconsistent with their personality. and a week later They’re back to having fun and flirting. These attitudes change more often. It depends on how much they care about you.
#2 You see the least effort Sometimes it feels like you’re the only one trying everything. While they tried almost everything
People spend a lot of time and effort on what they think is important. So if they don’t think you’re worth their time. then walk away forever
#3 All talk, no action. a while ago You begin to notice that they tend to make many small promises that never come true. They promise you to go on vacation at the end of the week. They promise to text you in the morning. They promise to call you when you get home. But every time they leave at the last minute Or you haven’t heard from them for a week – then at all. [Read: 5 unique traits that make a person trustworthy]
#4 you can’t pass All your messages seem unanswered, or just keep “reading” and you won’t get any replies. don’t panic They are not dead They are not stuck anywhere. And they definitely have battery in the phone. They just ignore you right now.
#5 You are empty online They always seem to be online. but didn’t send message to you They share content, write statuses, and like posts, but you get nothing.
If you find this to be the case when they are using Facebook chat or on whatsapp, there is a possibility that they are chatting with their other ‘options’ instead.
#6 Classic Excuses when you haven’t heard from them for a long time They tend to use predictable sentences too. They are ‘so busy’ that they don’t have time to text you back.
Here’s a tip No one is that busy unless they work 19-hour shifts in medical school. or be famous and even then They will also try to make time for you if needed.
#7 It’s all done by a magician. You may not have heard from them for days or weeks. And while you’re about to give up They suddenly reappeared. It is typically in the form of a colorful message or timed whatsapp. And it’s a good trick to prevent you from realizing that you deserve more.
If you find that this happens quite often Just ignore it and spend your time with people who are not always missing you. [Read: What you need to do when she’s playing hard to get]
#8 test it yourself If you want to check if you’re sitting still Message them now and suggest a coffee break on their free day of the week.
If they say ‘yes, when do you want to go?’ you’ll be fine, but if they respond with uncertainty. or rejected and advised to do so at other times that are not specified. Show that they are holding you back.
#9 The flirting chemistry is gone. over time You notice that they are less flirting. Their behavior has changed to what you would expect from a friend. But they didn’t stop communicating. This is more likely because they try to distance themselves in case they decide to split up. while still watching over you in case they decide to stay.
#10 They are full of it. They have a way of speaking and can always prepare the perfect excuse for anything. There’s always a convenient reason for what they’re doing wrong or any time they don’t care to consider your feelings. Don’t be fooled, they’re just trying to make sure you’re not acting on their true motives. [Read: The tricky kind of mind games men play that any girl can win]
#11 Who knows about you? None of your friends seem to know you exist. And when you really think about it They never offer to introduce you to them. If their friends don’t think you have a boyfriend or anything serious. Chances are you’re going to be imprisoned. [ElephantJournal.com: Why this dating trend is far worse than ghosting]
#12 They act as if their behavior is normal. After not contacting When they suddenly decide to come back into your life. They will act like nothing happened.
They go back to where they left off, assuming you just sat and waited for their return. Sometimes they don’t even realize they’re gone.
#13 You never see them again. You begin to realize that there is no more face-to-face contact between you. Every time you plan a date they will look excited But when the time is near They will quickly make excuses or leave.
Most of the contact you make is by phone or online. This means they don’t really need to commit. [Read: 10 ingenious ways to beat a player who’s playing you]
#14 You don’t expect much from them. You feel like you’re getting more and more hopeful. Just let the disappointment over and over again It gets to the point where you can’t even plan a date or rely on them with peace of mind because you fear they won’t do what they say they will.
#15 You start to feel like you are going crazy. Do they make you feel that you are needy or unreasonable just to express your feelings and need respect? Do you feel like you’re going crazy because they act like they don’t see what the problem is? Throw it away, because anyone who nullifies or dismisses your feelings is not worth it. [Read: Gaslighting – 16 signs the person you like is messing with your mind]
#16 Online mind games. when they are on social media They tend to like the status you post, but they don’t actually message you. It can be confusing and confusing. But they’re doing so because it’s a non-committal way of being in the picture. It makes them appear in your life without actually communicating with you.
#17 You have given up the fight. You’ve become so used to their sporadic behavior that you begin to reason or figure out why they are. Don’t judge someone by the part that appeals to you. Judge them 100% for who they are. The more you overlook their flaws The more time you waste your own time.[Read: Selfish people – 15 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]
Finding out if you’re incarcerated is easy. But learning to walk away is the hard part. If you feel that someone is waiting for you. give back control Stand up for yourself, cut off, and let them waste other people’s time. You are worth more than that!