Friendship should be a two-way agreement. If all you ever do is focus on yourself. Show that you are in a dependable friendship. It’s time to change – now.
We all need friends in our lives. Couples may come and go. But friendships often outlast any relationship. Friends lift us up when we fall. They provide network support. And they provide endless fun and giggles, but codependent friendship? That doesn’t really make you happy or give you the support you need.
We need friendship because it allows us to explore ourselves. They exhaust us. supported We are encouraged to grow into the people we should be. and quite frankly They are so fun!
When you live without friendship It shows that you are living a lonely and sad life.
Does that mean you should engage in toxic friendships from the start? No, in this case, you’re better off without them. [Read: Bad friends: 25 types of friends you must unfriend from your life right now]
Friendship lifts you out of difficult times. Friendship will cheer you up when you’re feeling down. and vice versa You will do the same for your friends. It’s a two-way affair that should always benefit both parties.
when one party gains more benefits than the other In fact, that’s almost always a problem.
What is codependent friendship?
A dependent friendship is a one-sided friendship. You do your best to support your friends. You neglect your own needs and desires to make sure they are happy. and when there is a problem You often feel guilty if you can’t fix it all.
Simply put, dependent friendships are what one friend needs for another to meet their needs. And another friend wants nothing more than their friend wants.
It’s unusual and unhealthy. But it is often portrayed as something that is unselfish and good. [Read: The martyr complex – How to recognize it and stop inflicting it upon yourself]
It’s not good to ignore your own needs and put everyone and everything before yourself. Focusing on yourself from time to time is not selfish, but necessary!
If you’re an optimist in a dependent friendship, like someone who works all the time. I always neglected my own feelings. and try to fix all existing problems. It shows that you are harming your friend without even realizing it.
They have to fix their own problems sometimes. They must feel bad. They have to experience their own emotions. You can’t save them. We all have to experience everything we have to go through in order to grow.
Who is to blame for codependent friendships?
So is it your fault or theirs? In some ways, both of you are equally punished.
First, you neglect your own needs to make them happy. You think you are an angel of the world. But you may distract yourself from other issues. In life you don’t want to face
It could be that you have low self-confidence and need to be lifted up by the good you do for others. Don’t worry, you can overcome it! [Read: 16 reasons why you’re being taken for granted by the people you love]
basically Your friends are to blame for letting you do these things for them.
Surely they see that you never take care of your own emotions? Obviously, you tend to be as sleek as a character from a superhero movie. Trying to save the world, right? The truth is that they may be visible. But everyone likes it when someone takes care of them closely and unselfishly. and they enjoy using you.
It’s messy in many ways, but a dependent friendship can change for the better. You both need to know what’s going on. [Read: How to take care of yourself and avoid falling apart]
Signs that you are in a dependent friendship
before you can fix the problem. You must know if there is a problem that needs to be fixed. Here are some signs that dependent friendships are totally unbalanced.
1. You always do what they want to do.
You always say “I don’t mind You decide.” When deciding where to go or what to do. You allow them to make decisions because you think that will please them.
2. You are always there when they need help.
Of course, it’s nice to be by your friend’s side when they’re having trouble. But if you have to pay your own expenses time and time again Something is not right
If you often leave your partner or yourself alone to help a friend. You have to ask yourself why. Are you literally leaving everything, even if it’s important to you? [Read: 15 signs a friend is using you and draining the happiness out of you]
3. When angry, it feels like a failure.
If your friend is uncomfortable or something doesn’t go along with it. You just feel like you’ve failed without being able to pick it up and make them smile.
It’s not your responsibility to swoosh in there and continually save your friend’s life. You can’t always protect them from negative feelings either.
4. You always feel tired.
Is that surprising? you are running around Try to take care of yourself and your friends. And you don’t have time to chill and “be.” You tend to get really tired after hanging out with friends. Because you’re always looking for things to do, say, or make them feel. You can’t just enjoy the moment. [Read: How to deal with selfish friends & recognize the ones that hurt you]
5. You always put their needs first.
It’s okay to put your friend’s needs first sometimes. Maybe if they are facing a crisis. However, if you always focus on one side of your needs. It shows that you are in a dependent friendship and that you need to start putting yourself first.
6.as if you feel their emotions
No, this doesn’t mean you need empathy. This means that you are so in tune with your friend’s mood that you tend to view it as your own.
if they fall You feel bad that you can’t encourage them. makes you feel bad
if they are angry with something You will be mad at yourself because the problem has not been resolved. [Read: Empaths and relationships: How to handle them and find happiness]
7. You will be happy only when everything is going well in friendship.
If you and your friend use a crossword or something is wrong. show that you are not happy Your emotional well-being depends on the state of dependent friendships. Friends can and do fall apart at times. It’s normal to clear the air with a few angry words from time to time!
8. You’re always apologizing for things that weren’t your fault.
If you have minor misunderstandings or arguments Are you sorry to get it right? Did you do this even though it wasn’t your fault or you didn’t do anything wrong? That’s a classic dependency.
9. You get jealous if they don’t put you in something.
Maybe they meet new friends at work and go out for drinks after a long day at the office. Are you jealous?
Friends can have other friends, it’s normal and healthy. That doesn’t mean your friends miss you less because they hang out with other people from time to time. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship & learn to overcome it]
Distance is essential to fixing a dependent friendship.
If you suspect you’re in a codependent friendship, it’s time to do something about it. The good news is that it is entirely possible to switch from dependence to good health.
It breaks down into two strategies – distance and identifying why you feel the need to rely so much on your friends.
It’s highly unlikely that while you’re around a friend. You will be able to break this pattern of behavior. It is unlikely that they will force you to do so either.
In this case, you have to separate. Don’t worry this isn’t permanent. Think like Ross and Rachel from Friends, but no future “we rest” conversations!
Take a little time to focus on yourself. Stay away from friendships that take all your time and effort. It’s best to avoid talking for a while. This doesn’t mean your friendship is over. That doesn’t mean it’s missing either. It means you are doing ‘you’ for a while. And you’re allowing your friends to do that. [Read: 15 steps to stop caring about someone who hurt you and heal yourself]
Distance has many uses. Dependent friendships are not healthy friendships. spend time away from each other remember who you are And remember that your needs and wants are important too.
By doing something about what you really want and want in life, you’ll be able to reunite in the near future and strive for a natural, healthy friendship.
Of course, that means doing intense self-discovery work while you’re on vacation.
Ask yourself difficult questions.
Explore why you feel the need to give your friends full attention. What are you trying to escape from? What are you neglecting? Do you feel that your needs are not as important as their needs? Why is that?
You are as important as with your friends and even trying things for others to be good But it shouldn’t spoil your happiness and health. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 20 reasons why you care more than others]
Do you consider yourself to have low self-esteem? and doing it for others and making them feel better. Maybe their problem solved. Does it make you feel valuable? You are worthy whether you solve all the problems in the world or not solve them at all. Each of us is worthy
What about the future?
If you need a start to begin the process of separating dependent friendships. Ask yourself this question – how would you feel in the future if your friend found a mate? if they already have How would you feel if they found another friend they started spending more time with?
Investing all your time and effort in one person is risky. I’m sure your friend is a wonderful person. But we all make mistakes.
What if they stop giving you the attention you need? What if they stop coming to you with problems and start dating instead? Do you feel lost? How can you fill the void? [Confession: I made my friend my priority and then she dumped me!]
Dependable friendships and important things you need to understand
Most importantly, we cannot rely on others for our happiness in this life. We can only rely on ourselves.
There are too many roadblocks to focus on other people. Yes, accept your friends as an important part of your life. But don’t make them come your whole life. They can easily leave you. it sounds harsh but it is possible
By devoting all your time and attention to one person, you are stopping yourself from moving forward.
You’re unlikely to get that opportunity. Just because you can’t see You’re too focused on friendships that depend on others!
What about the relationship? You want one? If so, how do you spread your love and time to two people? Your future partner might be jealous all the time and the attention you have for your friend, and that can cause big problems. [Read: 15 exciting ways to make new friends as an adult]
We must learn to divide our time equally with the people in our lives. But we must reserve most of the time for ourselves.
This doesn’t make you selfish. It doesn’t make you worthless or selfish. But it makes you the person who understands that taking care of your number one priority is just as important. with taking care of others
If you feel like you’re in a codependent friendship, check out these things. Signs of dependence to see if you are accepted by your peers..
Friendships that depend on each other are unbalanced, dysfunctional, and unhealthy. You can easily fix the problem. But first, you need to identify why your friendships are out of balance.