Being an emotional masochist doesn’t mean you want to be unhappy. But that part of you draws on feelings like fear and pain.
Being an emotional masochist isn’t what you ask for. But when you face that reality You get pleasure from being hurt. Engaging in repeated emotional negativity and drama in your relationship becomes a pattern.
And being an emotional masochist doesn’t mean you only succeed in that drama. but you also seek it You rely on things that are unstable and lead to unhappiness.
You may complain that you’ve never been happy. But your behavior is different. When you are involved in something healthy and safe. You found a way to complicate it to maintain your desire for the drama.
Suffering addiction is not uncommon. Most have never seen how they sabotage their own happiness and instead blame others. Are you an emotional masochist?[Read: Why do you keep loving someone you can’t have?]
What leads to emotional self-harm?
Emotional masochism is not something you just happen to one day. It’s often linked to your childhood or past trauma. And it’s often not a sane choice.
A person with a bright heart and a healthy child may not have a relationship with a married person. But it’s exciting for an emotional masochist!
when dealing with a busy or unstable childhood You are familiar with the passion, rage, and uncertainty of that style. So you search for it in other relationships. all of you This could be romance, friendship, and even work.
Mike Bundrant from PsychCentral fully described as “…Even though we consciously hate suffering But we still stick with it. It has always been with us for so long that we cannot imagine how it could have been otherwise.”
You may wonder why you don’t feel happy or fulfilled, but deep down in your heart it’s because you crave the unsettling feeling of being in pain or not knowing what’s going to happen. You thrive on drama rather than sit down routines.
And most people with these traits are not aware of it. You might be wondering, but read on to know for sure. [Read: How abandonment issues affect your relaitonships]
Are you an emotional masochist?
Emotional masochists are not the ones who need to be depressed or even have to deal with mental illness.
Emotional masochism can come from many places. But it is often part of your daily subconscious mind. It’s something that almost everyone experiences to some degree throughout their lives.
things like sabotage binge eating drug and alcohol use overspending and self-criticism They are all aspects of emotional self-harm. It is thought guided by the pursuit of adversity while under the guise of longing for happiness. [Read: Intentionally hurting someone you love – Why we do this and how to stop]
The point is, most emotional masochists are unaware of these behaviors. what is the cause or how to stop them
So if you find yourself in a sad mood all the time. Look for the negative side of any situation, or find yourself constantly “unlucky”, you could be your worst enemy. that stand in the way of your own happiness… emotional masochist [Read: OMG I’m so bored with life – 20 ways to bring the spark back]
1. You love to hate social media.
Emotional masochists experience things. which made them feel extremely miserable. But refuse to cut them out of your life. For example, you know stalking your ex’s Facebook or even looking at old photos. The two of you will make you upset. But you still look
If you scroll through Instagram and it makes you feel bad about yourself. your image or make you feel inferior But you still do it every day You may be doing it to bring yourself back into adversity.
Taking a break from social media can help you feel free from negative thoughts. But you must actively try to stop. [Read: How to love yourself: 15 ways to discover self-love and happiness]
2. You reach out to toxic people.
If you’re the one who vows to break up with a friend or family member but gets nervous and texts them on vacation to get fired again without a response. Shows that you may be an emotional masochist. You know what the outcome will be. but you keep doing
Maybe you hooked up with a toxic family member who often disappoints you, or responded to an ex’s Instagram story knowing they wouldn’t reply or would argue. You don’t expect different results. you know what will happen But get used to it and continue to follow that pattern. [Read: 20 signs of a toxic friendship to instantly recognize the toxic ones]
3. You run into problems that are nonexistent.
When you feel relieved and sober You’ll look around and find where the problem is. Maybe you and your partner haven’t quarreled in a month. instead of feeling relieved Do you feel bored or satisfied?
instead of enjoying the peace You can try to revisit past problems or even do things. to fight and feel that passion and excitement again
you want a challenge because you really don’t know What is it to experience true happiness? Explore why grief can make you feel so much better. so that you can stop this cycle [Read: Sabotaging your own life – 12 ways you’re making yourself miserable every day]
4. You are in a relationship that makes you miserable.
People in your life question your decisions in bad relationships, bad jobs, or even why you live in an apartment with a cruel or inhumane landlord. Even without excuses, you are, not because there are good things either.
You exist because there is a part of you that absorbs that suffering. you like to complain Having things to worry about can help you keep going. It’s something you’re used to. And the pain others don’t understand is what makes you feel good! [Read: How to let go of a relationship that’s bad for you]
5. You end a good relationship.
If all the good people you date are not like you. Stop and think about what type of person you are. Could it be someone who treats you badly because you are emotionally masochistic?
If you’re dating someone who is cute and funny and treats you with respect. instead of leaning in that direction You find it boring and there is no reason to succeed. [Read: Attention seeking behavior and why some people go looking for drama]
6. You are always upset with someone about something.
If it seems like you want someone to bother you all the time. Shows that you may be an emotional masochist. There may be no reason for you to be upset. But you need someone to upset you. You run into problems that don’t have or blow things out of proportion.
This doesn’t just make your life unstable. But it also creates problems for those around you. It makes you unhappy in the process more. [Read: How to stop being angry all the time]
7. You agree with what you don’t want to do.
If you think you can’t deny it because you’re kind. think again No one forces you to say yes. besides yourself You may be driven because you look for adversity and rejection.
When someone invites you to something you know you won’t enjoy. Instead of passing by and enjoying the night at home, you agree. They were satisfied at first. and then grow from your insults all night long. Any benefit you feel from agreeing to do something you don’t want will be suppressed by actually doing it. [Read: How to say no: Stop pleasing people and feel awesome instead]
8. You are drawn to unhappy people.
Misery loves the company if you look for miserable people nearby. You’re not trying to find happiness. You’re trying to find someone to be upset and miserable with.
You’re not interested in party life or people asking for advice. But you like someone you can become obsessed with. What could be better than emotional self-loathing towards a masochist? self-loathing group [Reead: How to stop making the same mistakes in relationships]
9. You push away the people who support you.
Pushing others away doesn’t mean you’re free. is that you push away the positive thinking and step away from the turning point. Having supportive and helpful friends in life can pull you away from masochistic malice.
But you don’t rely on that help. You run from it so that you can live in a bubble of unhappiness and unhappiness. [Read: 15 signs you’re pushing people away]
10. You start fighting for passion.
If you’re someone who starts fighting for the drama and makes them feel alive. Show that you are an emotional masochist. You think a relationship without arguments is boring.
You don’t want to have an adult conversation that you disagree with and come to understand. The yelling and screaming of a broken relationship makes you excited. The excitement of not knowing how it will turn out makes your life more passionate. [Read: 15 reasons you’re bored in your relationship]
11. You seek friendship and unhealthy people.
People who want to be surrounded by adversity and adversity seek out the people in their lives who let them down. constantly hurting them and not sensitive to their needs You will be in a job where you are treated badly despite getting a better offer. Because being fired from your job is something you’re used to.
Some of you might think you don’t deserve better. Perhaps one of your parents talked to you all the time as a child. And now that’s the kind of relationship you’ve always wanted from your superiors. [Read: 16 clear signs a narcissist is subtly abusing you]
12. People call you a masochist.
If you have someone who calls you a masochist in your life. They don’t just throw words for no reason. or your family members see it as part of your life It’s most likely true.
They don’t judge you But they are worried and want you to know that you deserve to be happy.
13. You don’t stand up for yourself.
You’re a sandbag and never stand up for yourself because you feel comfortable being put down. The sorrow that comes with being put down is your comfort zone.
If you hate being scolded by friends or bosses, you’ll stand up, argue back, and demand respect. But a part of you felt safe there. [Read: How to stand up for yourself: Get what you want and deserve]
14. You don’t care about compliments.
You don’t hear good things about yourself, even if you’re being honest. If someone compliments you show that you make excuses But when someone is rude to you, you need to pay attention.
Being an emotional masochist can make you successful in the negative aspects of life. So you ignore the compliments and hold on to the bad. You may think that other people think negatively about you without real evidence. [Read: How to change your self-deprecating attitude]
15. You seek approval that you never received.
When it comes to approval Instead, search through friends and family for support. You seek it in impossible ways. You may look for approval from the internet. Maybe you need a certain number of likes or comments.
Verification of things like this is impossible. And the constant striving for something that never comes is asking for sorrow. [Read: How to stop caring about what other people think]
16. When you start healing you open the wound again
Introspection is an emotional masochist’s best friend and hangs out often with them. When you find yourself no longer thinking about traumatic experiences or traumatic pasts. instead of finding happiness You will open the wound again It’s like picking a scab and creating scars.
You don’t want to move on or feel better. Going back in time when you were in pain makes you feel comfortable. [Read: How to stop ruminating – Leave your past behind and live your future]
17. I think I have good intentions.
Emotional masochists cannot be left alone well enough and walk away. They stay and stir the pot under the guise of trying to make things better. You reach out to someone from your past or someone toxic. thinking that you can fix things, but in reality You will only make things worse.
Instead of letting things go, you try to fix the things that can’t be fixed over and over again. You believe that you have the best intentions and want different results.
But deep down, you know that things It will only get more complicated because of your actions. [Read: Why do I feel so alone? The answers that can change your life]
18. You’re Sorry It’s You
If you’re sorry for what you’ve done, then sorry that you’re sorry. Shows that you may have a masochistic mood. Instead of building confidence or learning from mistakes. Instead, you stir up feelings of guilt and inferiority.
You let what others say determine your future actions and how you feel about yourself.
19. You think you have to make other people happy.
If you live your life to make other people happy or make them like you. Show that you have prepared yourself for suffering. You’ll never know true happiness if you rely on others to validate it.
Emotional masochists tend to try to please others. And since it is impossible to please everyone So they always fail. in pain and sorrow [Read: How to be happy again – 20 rules to draw happiness from within]
20. People are always telling you that you are too good.
Too good does not equal too good. in most cases It means you feel good when you feel bad.
You talk about how people treat you badly and complain a lot. but to remain in those situations. You’re too good because it feels unconsciously good when someone treats you badly. [Read: Are you too nice? 20 signs of a people pleaser]
21. You let other people get out of hand.
If you go back to the same person who shows indifference and treats you like an unimportant person. It shows that you are not looking for a happy relationship. You sit in your own misery and keep yourself stuck.
Maybe you have a friend who never replies to your messages or speaks the wrong way. instead of calling them out or cutting them off. You let it go and keep that one-sided friendship. Why? Because their actions make you feel crappy and you like it. [Read: 17 ways to welcome positive energy into your life]
22. You promote sadness with sad songs and movies.
As if you weren’t sad enough Then you kick yourself when you fall. Instead of singing good and move on You dug a hole even deeper.
You listen to sad songs that make you cry. Or watch a sad movie to make your feelings worse. deepen your [Read: 15 best feel-good movies for the broken-hearted]
23. You crave compassion.
Maybe you don’t want to be the center of attention. At least it’s not just superficial. But you love it when other people feel bad for you. Even as an adult, you secretly cry in the bathroom. hoping that someone will follow you So that you can express your feelings and empathize with them. [Read: 16 signs you crave attention but pretend like you don’t want it]
24. You bond with other emotional masochists.
Emotional masochism is like a herd. They tend to gather in groups. This is because the pain they seek can be found in others. You drown in the negative, which makes it easy to be unhappy.
If you find someone who has a positive attitude to pull you out of your sadness and pain. You may change for the better. And that’s a terrible idea for you. As an emotional masochist Surrounding yourself with like-minded people Together is easier than trying to be really happy.[Read: The rules of life – 22 secrets to never be unhappy ever again]
Everyone might get involved with being an emotional masochist at some point. But if the pursuit of pain and chaos is your whole way of life? You might want to find a new route.