The fear of losing someone you love is a legitimate fear. It comes from dozens of reasons and is not easy to control. But how to overcome this fear?
The fear of losing someone you love is not uncommon. Whether you’ve just been in a relationship or you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. The fear still exists because let’s face each other You may lose them at any time.
We all have this fear. But even like this We just don’t understand why we have this fear and where it comes from. Even if you’re in the happiest relationship of your life. The fear of losing a loved one can be so powerful that you can focus on that fear.
Regardless, paranoia has a way of creeping into our brains and causing us to imagine scary situations where we are no longer with the ones we love.
Tales from the Trenches
I *really* wrong at most of this bad habit – I can’t help it! After associating with a few men and breaking up with them. I started dating this guy who was my everything. I imagine we’ve been together for a long time. And we also choose the names of our future children—I know. It looks monotonous!
But then one Monday I wander into the house Ready to start watching new episodes of our favorite TV shows? When the unexpected happened, he left me! I was shocked to say the least. I can’t stand it
since then I had the fear that everyone I was with would get up and walk away without a second thought. To me, it felt like everyone was ready to walk away. And I can’t cope with the fear of losing them. [Read: The 10 types of love everyone experiences in their lifetime]
Reasons for fear of losing someone you love
1. Past experiences or trauma
When you have suffered some form of loss before or have had a traumatic experience in a relationship. It can result in fear. It leads you to believe that trauma will shape your entire experience.
Maybe you’re unlucky to deal with a bad relationship. or the marriage of the parents may not be successful These experiences are just a few examples of what leads to the fear of losing a loved one.
The trauma is so severe that you have to dwell on the fear that it will happen again. Otherwise history repeats itself. [Read: 19 signs of emotional damage and ways to get past them]
We all have to deal with some insecurities and shortcomings. That’s normal, however, when your insecurities are so severe that it warns you that you’re about to lose someone. That’s when fear takes over. Even if you are happy with someone That voice in your head is too loud because of your insecurities.
Most of our fears come from a combination of what happened to us and our insecurities. If you’re always looking at your flaws That’s the source of this fear.
Maybe you feel like you don’t deserve love, or that you’re always inadequate no matter what you do. This is the type of thought that leads to believing fear of losing a loved one. [Read: 10 signs of low self-esteem and 5 ways to increase it]
3. how they treat you
when someone is harassing you Even though you know you should leave You will stay. Why? All because of the fear of losing the person you love. Maybe you are tricked into thinking they will change. Or maybe you’ll find a reason why they treat you.
In fact, the opposite could be true. People are still afraid of losing someone even if they are treated with kindness and compassion. That’s because they are not used to being treated like this. making them terrified like crazy
One common reason behind the fear of losing a loved one is dependence. You fear the people you’ll become without them, or you’ve become so used to them in your life that you feel like you can’t breathe without them.
The nostalgia of living without them in your life scares you to the core because you depend on them on everything – and that’s what causes fear. [Read: 10 scary signs of codependency in your relationship]
5. bad childhood
Although this is similar to the first point. But most of this talks about how you were brought up. If you have a problem of neglect because your parents neglected you or abandoned you as a child. Shows that you are more likely to be afraid of losing someone you love.
Because your family has always rejected you. Your idea is that everyone must do the same. You always felt like you were destined to be abandoned and rejected by others.
How to Overcome the Fear of Losing the Loved Ones
Although we cannot control our fear all the time. But what can we do with it? to help combat the ingrained fear of abandonment. We have compiled various methods There are so many that you can easily overcome your fear!
1. Just relax. It’s natural.
The fear of losing a loved one is totally natural. If you have feelings for them at all You’ll be upset if one day he walks away from you. This is not news for everyone in a relationship. The fear of losing a loved one is a valid fear that everyone has gone through at some point in their lives.
Realizing that it’s normal for you to be afraid of losing someone you love. You will be able to accept your feelings and move on.
Completely forgetting fear leads to anxiety. This is usually indicative of a bigger problem, such as a loss of interest in your relationship. [Read: 10 signs you’re subconsciously losing interest in your relationship]
2. Stop trying to control everything.
There are things in your life that are about to happen. Whether you want it or not You can’t stop anyone who comes into your life from leaving. [Read: 20 glaring signs you have a control freak in you]
They will come and go without your permission. Many people struggle with letting go of the need to control. *because let’s face each other We all want to control*, but you can never control everything forever. So you should go with it and learn to accept things as they are.
3. Get a journal
Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and fears about losing a loved one may help you overcome that burden. Writing down what’s on your mind on paper is a great way to relieve tension and relax a little. It’s the best cure when dealing with the fear of losing a loved one.
In this case, you can also start a anxiety journal where you write down all of your darkest thoughts. This will help you see that sometimes Your thoughts are so illogical that they are far from reality. [Read: Abandonment issues and how it affects your relationship]
4. Communicate with your partner
One of the best ways to alleviate your fear of losing your loved one is to talk to them about it. If your fear crushes you so much You have to let your partner know how you feel.
Maybe they can reassure you and ease your pain. Especially when your partner finds out about your past or your inner fears. They can find the right words to say and assure you that your fear will not arise. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship: 14 steps to a better love]
5. Have fun with your partner!
One great way to overcome this feeling is to enjoy your partner. enjoy their company Enjoy their personalities and all the little things that keep them interested. Being happy in a relationship is the best way to let go of your fears. at least at that time
Instead, spend all your time thinking about fear. Instead, enjoy this moment with your sweetheart! [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules that’ll guarantee a successful romance]
6. Realize that you may be making things worse.
extreme anxiety about losing someone It may worsen your current situation. or even drive them away. If your mind keeps thinking that they are going to flee. You might as well take them there yourself.
They say that your thoughts determine your current reality and this can really happen. This is why it’s important to overcome the fear of losing someone. because if not This will become your reality. [Read: How to stop overthinking in a relationship & calm your mind down]
The more you dwell in fear Fear will inadvertently drive it away. Because you have completely changed your identity.
7. Imagine your life without them.
I know I know that! It’s not something you want to do, especially if that’s your greatest fear. But this is what If you imagine your life without them and realize that you can go on you are okay And everything will turn out fine in the end.
It is much easier to face the possibility of abandonment. If you can imagine yourself leaving the relationship and finding someone else. This will save you from the fear of losing the one you love. [Read: 9 important habits you need to learn to feel more independent]
8. Realize that life will go one way or the other.
Couples don’t determine your happiness. And your partner doesn’t control you. You will live the life you want with or without it. And this thought is sure to alleviate your deepest fears.
We know how difficult this picture is. But it is necessary to overcome this fear. You have to be aware that no matter what happens. Life will not stop for you [Read: 11 lessons you need to learn to survive on your own]
9. Accept it as a part of life—and deal with it.
This can be a cruel reality. but it’s true Losing a loved one happens every day. You are not alone when it comes to these feelings. Life happens whether you want it or not. And you will have to deal with the loss of your loved ones here and there.
Losing is part of life. And it will affect you someday. Accepting this fact will now take you on a path to conquer your fears. [Read: You-complete-me relationships and why you need your space]
10. Think of the many people you lost.
Whatever the reason you fear losing someone you love. The truth is, you’ve been through it many times. And you’ll be saved from it again. If the worst happens and you lose it. Show that you are stronger than you give yourself credit.
Think about how many partners, friends, or even family members you’ve lost. And feel empowered by you being a survivor. Yes, it will hurt, but you will survive this loss. as well as the rest of your life’s loss.
11. Talk to Someone
Either as a close friend or a therapist. You need to talk to someone about your fears when they get too much. The more you suppress this fear, hoping that it will go away on its own. The more pain you will feel.
We guarantee you will feel much better when you talk to someone about your fears. It doesn’t drive you crazy about wanting someone to listen to your thoughts. it makes you human [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 13 ways you can open up more]
12. Find evidence
When we focus on fear The best way to react and think rationally is if you are trying to find evidence. Why do you believe you will lose them?
Is it something they do directly to you or is it a trigger from your past? As soon as you can’t find a piece of evidence You will find that your fears are just illogical thoughts at first. It’s not that your fear is wrong. But it’s from your past place.
13. Take advantage of that fear.
You cannot always control every outcome. But you can take advantage of the fear of losing someone you love. Realize that life is fragile And anything can happen at any moment. even the loss of the person you love the most
If you use that awareness You’ll be better able to appreciate the things in your relationship and the things that happen every day. Because you are afraid of losing them at any time. So you know how to make every second more valuable. [Read: How to be fearless: 13 ways to set aside fear and live your life]
14. Reverse your thoughts.
One thing you need to learn when you tend to think negatively is how to counter your thoughts. If your mind is full of fears, such as the fear of losing someone. Change it to a positive mindset.
For example, every time you are afraid of losing them. Think that at least you have to feel the love you need or that you have to grow out of this experience. You must be able to find the silver lining even in the things you fear the most.
15. Manage your baggage
Easier said than done But if you find the root of your fear You will be better able to overcome it. If a bad relationship makes you afraid of losing someone. Instead, try to close the relationship, or better yet. Realize that your past relationships will never determine your current relationship.
no matter how bad It doesn’t mean that it will happen over and over again.[Read: How to deal with guilt & drop the baggage weighing you down]
So what is the fear of losing someone?
The fear of losing someone comes from what happened in your past. bad childhood Abandonment problem insecurity or the way your partner treats you. These are the fears we have experienced at some point in our lives that are difficult to overcome.
Losing a loved one is a common fear among many people. Lucky for you we have come up with 9 The best way to get over this horrible feeling and get back to enjoying your relationship!