A relationship gets stale after some time, so it’s essential to know how to keep a relationship exciting. Keep reading to find out how to make things fun!
Contrary to what many people think, knowing how to keep a relationship exciting in a long term relationship is not that easy to do. Work, kids, mortgages and life in general tend to put a damper on the passion, lust and interesting conversation that you had with your partner during the early stages of your relationship. The honeymoon phase is often the most thrilling and exciting part of a relationship.
However, as you surpass more relationship milestones and steps, you become comfortable with one another. As a result, the relationship settles into something more stale and mundane. This isn’t bad, but it can make you forget the sparks your relationship used to have.
There’s no reason why you shouldn’t incorporate a little more spark and chemistry in your relationship, similar to how you both felt when you were just falling in love. [Read: 12 easy ways to keep the intimacy alive]
Why do relationships get stale over time?
As you get more familiar with someone, it’s normal for the relationship to become more slow-paced and warm. That doesn’t mean you no longer love one another, but it means you just got used to each other’s company. [Read: 13 signs the honeymoon period is starting to wane in your eyes]
The initial stage of a relationship, otherwise known as the honeymoon phase, is the most exciting because you’re both putting your best foot forward. You’re entering unfamiliar territory because you’re still getting to know one another, and you’re also in the courting stage.
But as the months and years progress, your relationship settles into something more mundane. There’s no longer the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, you no longer get nervous around them, and there’s no longer a reason to try as hard. [Read: Honeymoon phase: How long before your love fades into nothing?]
How can you keep things interesting after years of being together?
Here are 20 glorious ways to keep your long term relationship exciting, or as many like to say, ‘sex-citing’. Don’t worry, no matter how many years you’ve been together, it doesn’t mean that your relationship has to die down entirely and lose your spark. [Read: 10 ways you can make your relationship more fun]
1. Do something new together
By embarking on something that neither of you has ever done before, it keeps things interesting and fresh. Whether it’s taking a holiday somewhere new or trying a new restaurant in town, do something new and interesting with your partner.
Life doesn’t stop at the end of your comfort zone, and this applies even to your relationship. So if you want to know how to keep a relationship exciting, do something new together with your partner. [Read: 25 couples activities that make you feel loved & closer than ever]
2. Date each other
This sounds really cheesy, but date nights are so important in a relationship. In fact, one of the reasons why a relationship can become boring is the lack of date nights. It doesn’t have to be constantly, but be sure to really allocate time every now and then.
Clear your schedule, put work on hold and plan a nice night out. Whether it’s something simple like heading out for a movie or preparing a homemade meal, never cancel on date night. If you have kids, arrange for a sitter to watch them to ensure that you get plenty of alone time with your spouse. [Read: 13 most romantic date ideas]
3. Agree to unexpected requests
In an article published by the New York Times, So don’t be afraid to expand your horizons and do all kinds of things. Whether it is accompanying your wife to the theatre or keeping your husband company on his evening run, agree to something you wouldn’t normally do.
4. Don’t hold back on your love
There is no room for ego in a happy relationship. Never hold back on expressing love and forgiveness, no matter how irritated you are with your partner. Don’t fear that you’re too cheesy or vulnerable in your relationship. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]
This is a relationship we’re talking about, and there’s no room for any kind of competition. If you’re serious about learning how to keep a relationship exciting, then you can’t hold back on showing love, especially to your partner.
5. Switch up the routine
One simple way to keep your long term relationship exciting is to switch up the routine. Instead of going by the same old boring book, flip to a random page and just do it. Frankly, it’s so easy for a relationship to become predictable over the years.
So if you want to keep the sparks alive, change your routine every now and then. Maybe surprise your partner with a date or cook them dinner out of nowhere. Unplanned things are always great ways to keep the relationship exciting. [Read: 20 fun things for couples to do: Get out of the relationship routine]
6. Start an open dialogue
Communicating freely entails sitting down with your spouse for at least 15 minutes a day and indulging in conversation. It could be discussing the future, helping out with a work issue and so on. Keep things light and easy.
The goal is to get to know your partner again. You’ll be surprised about the new things you can learn about your partner just by talking to them. You never know, they might surprise you with something! [Read: 12 things happy couples talk about]
7. Give it your all
When attempting to keep your long term relationship exciting, ensure that you give it your all. Behave as though your relationship will end if you cannot fix this, and for most couples, that is probably the case.
The relationship will immediately get boring when you approach it with just half of your effort. While effort isn’t everything, it does affect compromise in a relationship, which speaks volumes in the excitement of you as a couple.
8. What would you have done 20 years ago?
According to Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, psychologist and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, “The main idea is to mimic your relationship when you first met one another.” Ask yourself what you were like years ago when you met your spouse.
Were you more spontaneous then? More loving? More giving? The only time you should look back into the past is to learn a thing or two. So reflect on how you were during your honeymoon stage, and you might apply a few things in your relationship!
9. Socialize together
Being in a relationship should not be all about just the two of you. Both sides need friends, whether mutual or your own group of people. Start socializing more with your friends and throw parties, host dinners, plan a BBQ or head out for drinks together in a group.
Especially when one *or both of you* are extroverts, it can feel extremely boring when your relationship is stuck in this loop without socializing and going out. [Read: How to be more social: 19 ways to genuinely connect with others]
10. Take trips
Sometimes, all you need to do to revitalize your long term relationship is to plan an escape together. Whether it is a 2-week getaway to the Maldives or a one night stay at your favorite hotel in the city, take a trip with your partner and treat it like a second honeymoon.
Life isn’t meant to be lived in just one place, so if you really want to know how to keep a relationship exciting, take lots of tips with your partner and have all kinds of adventures! You’ll make lots of new memories together that you’ll cherish forever. [Read: 10 benefits of taking a sex vacation]
11. Surprise one another
Every expert out there will tell you that giving is very important in a relationship, and they do not just mean time. Gift giving is a surefire way to make your partner smile. It does not have to be something expensive or extravagant. You don’t need to buy them the most expensive thing to make them happy, but it’s the thought that counts.
If you can surprise them with the git, even better! Spontaneity is the best way to catch them off guard and bring even just a little excitement to the relationship. [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures to try]
12. Accomplish something together
Set a realistic goal together and work towards it. Examples include attending a samba class, saving up a certain amount of money by the end of the year, running a marathon together and so on.
Whatever it is, motivate each other and see it through to the end. Accomplishing goals together can feel so satisfying as a couple and gives you a sense of ambition.
13. Sex it up
Everyone knows just how important sex is in a relationship, especially long term ones. Instead of vanilla sex, try new things like toys, flavored lubes, sexy lingerie and costumes.
The physical aspect of your relationship is one of the factors most affected as your relationship progresses. So instead of doing vanilla all the time, try something different. [Read: 10 naughty games to get you in the mood]
14. Be happy to see one another
No matter how busy you are, make it a point to be happy to see your partner. At the end of the day, instead of greeting your husband or wife with, “Did you remember to buy eggs?” try giving them a kiss and hug before saying anything.
If you really want to learn how to keep a relationship exciting, then put effort into making everything exciting.
15. Argue well
Disagreements and conflict are all a normal part of relationships. However, when you argue frequently and in the wrong way, this will cause your relationship to be dull quickly. Try not to lash out in anger, and even when you do, censor your words and do not hurt your partner.
Try to listen more than yell. Also remember that there is nothing wrong with going to bed angry. Treat your relationship like a partnership, and you should be fine! Don’t fight one another but instead, tackle the problem. [Read: 8 ways to handle the tension after an argument]
16. Look good for one another
Just because you’ve been together for a long time doesn’t mean you should neglect your physical appearance and health. So if you want to know how to keep a relationship exciting, keep looking good for yourself and your partner. Start working out and eating right.
It will also be nice if you could shave, wax, put on your makeup and don a nice outfit every so often to look smoking hot for your loved one. [Read: The clothes make the girl: 15 tips to get you looking your best]
17. Share the love
If you have been together for a long time and feel that you are brimming with love, then perhaps it is time to share what you have. If you have not already done it, talk about having kids and starting a family. Without this kind of direction and purpose in your life, your relationship will eventually begin to feel like a routine.
You need to talk about your relationship goals and plans for the future to give you both a little something to look forward to. [Read: 11 ways to know if you’re ready for kids]
18. Appreciate life together
As morbid as this may seem, keep in mind that life is short and that time is precious. Revitalize your relationship by always appreciating life together. With over 6 billion people in the world, it is a wonderful thing that you met your partner and built a life together.
Enjoy every moment together because time is such a fragile thing. You should learn to cherish your partner while they’re still by your side.
19. Always forgive
Forgiveness is easier said than done and no matter how much we say that you should never hold a grudge, it doesn’t always come naturally to us. But if you want to treasure your relationship, you should always forgive them.
You’re not the only one learning and growing in the relationship. Mistakes will be made and all you can do is forgive them. If it won’t be such a big deal, just let it go. [Read: How to forgive someone: 15 positive ways to unburden your mind]
20. Spend time apart
We can’t stress this enough, but space from your partner is so important. It gives you both time to have your significant alone time and miss each other deeply. It could be letting your partner go off for a fishing trip with a friend or you spending some time back home with your folks.
Either way, give both sides the chance to miss one another and you will find that when you are finally back together, things will be a little different. Don’t worry, your partner won’t forget you by spending time apart! [Read: How you can give space in a relationship]
21. Put your phone down
Constantly having your phones by your side can cause a strain in your relationship. This is because when you or your partner always use your phones, it leaves little to no time to spend together.
So even if it’s as simple as putting your phone down, you can effectively put a little spark and excitement back into your relationship. It makes you both feel loved all because you give them more focus and attention. [Read: 15 cell phone rules every couple has to follow to build real trust]
22. Cook them dinner
Cooking is such an underrated act in a relationship, which is all the more reason why you should do it. If you want to know how to keep a relationship exciting, then cook them dinner.
Surprise them with their favorite meal or cook a new recipe and make them try it. We assure you that they’ll appreciate and love you more because of it *especially after a tiring day from work*.
23. Write them a letter
Handwritten letters never go out of style, so if you really want to bring back the sparks in your relationship, having a little romance is the best way to achieve this.
The art of writing someone a handwritten letter will always be a classic because compared to just typing a letter, handwritten letters are raw and more sentimental. So go ahead, write down your thoughts and put your soul into that letter for your partner!
So how to maintain an exciting relationship?
There are many ways to bring back the spark and chemistry of a relationship. Just because you’ve been together for so many years doesn’t mean everything has to be boring and boring. Remember that contentment is a choice. And it doesn’t have to be your choice.
If the love between you two is strong There’s no reason why you can’t light the fire of passion in your long-term relationship. With these 23 tips, you can learn how to maintain an exciting relationship in no time!