An possessive relationship is not jealousy, it’s disrespect and control. This is a signal and a way to change.
Ownership relationships are not sweet. It’s not full of love and romance. It’s not a big love story. In fact, possessive relationships often lead to dysfunction, manipulation, and even violent abuse. There is nothing really positive. about cherished relationships But it seems to be a romantic thing for many people.
To think that someone loves you enough to do anything to keep you with them seems cute at first. But one thing that will make someone happy and the other thing is control, control and even the danger of that desire.
Ownership relationships are not fair or equal partnerships. as a form of ownership when one party thinks the other belongs to them They let the intense fear of losing them turn into anger and jealousy. Learning how to identify this behavior is important to your mental health and physical well-being.[Read: The 14 signs of obsession in love that you simply can’t ignore]
What leads to ownership relationships?
Ownership relationships are usually controlled by one person. and that person has ownership for a reason. The reason for this may be a past betrayal. It could be low self-esteem. It could be an anger issue or it could be from a difficult childhood. A lot of things lead to this kind of relationship. Ownership in relationships is not always the result of these situations.
Many of them have been cheated on in the past and have good relationships with each other. It’s the people who don’t work through past traumas that let fear, pain, and negativity control their actions. There is a lack of trust from the possessive person in the relationship. They don’t trust their partner or anyone.
as i said This often stems from a poor childhood or lack of parental love. People who feel the need to control their partner have an urge to control. The overwhelming relationship isn’t just people who fear losing their partner. They use fear as an excuse to control their behavior. The need for control will replace everlasting love.[Read: Controlling vs caring: A thin line controlling people love to cross]
Is ownership a sign of love?
I would like to say that the answer is no. And on the one hand, it is, but it’s not so easy. Most people in possessive relationships will claim that their love is so strong that they do crazy things. The possessive person uses love as an excuse to control their partner and make sure they never leave them. and the other party will do the same.
Love can be a miracle In the wrong hands, it can become dangerous. And although it is used as an excuse for victims in a cherished relationship to explain to friends and family why they tolerate their partner’s controlling behavior But it shouldn’t be love at all.
Ownership relationships often begin intensely. It’s romantic and feels like a whirlwind. This is what makes the feeling of love seem so strong.
but quite fast Something that seems so magical and amazing. back to control and management Owners will use that history as an example of their love. They will say that they want to control their partner because they don’t want to lose them or because they don’t think they deserve them.[Read: The 20 speedy signs your relationship is moving too fast]
They will fall victim to their partner’s appreciation for the good times to fix the bad. And this usually works. They will feel guilty or manipulate their partner in countless ways to maintain their possessive relationship under the guise of love.
So is ownership a sign of love? No, it’s a sign of weakness. It is a sign of low confidence and unreliability.
Do you think your boyfriend owns it? Use this to find: 17 signs your boyfriend is jealous that you shouldn’t overlook!
or vice versa Think your girlfriend owns it? Find these signs and help her change: How to help your jealous girlfriend Change from habit to habit!
Signs that you are in an possessive relationship
Signs that you are in a possessive relationship can range from obvious to subtle. Possessed individuals are often very good at disguising their behavior as loving or caring so that you don’t see the signs. Management is an important part of any ownership relationship. Therefore, being able to notice that, despite being smart, is important to know that you are in a cherished relationship.
If you find some or all of these behaviors familiar. It’s time to do something about ownership in your relationship.
1. They are unreasonably jealous.
It’s one thing to be a little jealous if you see your partner hit by an attractive stranger, but usually you trust your partner and let it go. In the case of an ownership relationship This little jealousy will go away.
Your partner will accuse you of being interested in someone just to talk to them. They will envy you for being late because your work gets more attention than them. Basically, they’re jealous of whoever or whatever takes your attention away from them. [Read: How to deal with jealousy in a relationship and learn to overcome it]
2. They love bombs.
A love bomb is an attempt to flirt with someone with superior gestures, such as sending flowers, buying a present, or immediately showing extra romance. This could be seen as cute. But it usually happens quickly and before people will get to know you
This is often a precursor to abuse and manipulation. Starting a relationship with love in abundance You will be delighted and excited about this. It just becomes scary and dangerous when you get involved. [Read: The warning signs of love bombing that could easily be confused with love]
3. They appeared out of the blue.
It might be sweet for your partner to pick up some wine after you’ve had a bad day. But what if they pop out of the blue for no reason unless they miss you? It can be shocking They may disguise this behavior as being sweet or loving. but in reality It’s your way of checking.
One of my best friends has a long-distance relationship. Every time you tell your girlfriend that we’re together He will call to greet me He acts like he’s just a nice guy and wants to get to know her friends. But he did it to make sure she was really where she was talking.
He’ll do this if she doesn’t text back right away. And he’s always insisting on talking to me on the phone, seeming like a friend, when he wants to make sure I’m really there with her. [Read: 16 signs of an emotionally manipulative boyfriend who’s playing you]
4. feel guilty of being happy
If you call your partner after being promoted or having a good day. They will insult you by accusing you of bragging when they are in trouble. They will speak negatively about your work. claiming that it takes away from your relationship
They struggle to be happy for you during these times. Because it has nothing to do with them. In fact, they may speak negatively about your friends and family having good news because they also distract you.
5. They don’t like giving you space.
Every good relationship requires some degree of personal space and boundaries. but in a relationship that shows ownership that’s not the case If you want to relax for a day They will ask why you can’t rest with them. They’ll want you to spend their free time with them and say you always hang out with your friends or we haven’t been together all week. which is not the case [Read: Why people become clingy and needy – And how to help them change]
6. They need to know your schedule.
If you go out without them They will want to know where you are. where are you going and who will you be with They may not use these questions as an allegation. But no one needs to know where their partner is all the time if they trust them.
They may also confirm that you share your location with them via your phone. If you try to cultivate boundaries and privacy They will accuse you of lying and feel guilty for sharing such details. If you want to know how to set boundaries Start with these 15 Healthy Boundaries Every happy couple follows in a relationship..
7. It does not promote your growth or success.
in a healthy relationship couples will motivate inspire and support each other to become better and more knowledgeable people. You want each other to be better and happier. but in a relationship that shows ownership reverse Owning spouses will reject your growth and want to hold you back instead of encouraging you to explore. [Read: The 15 scary signs you’re in a toxic relationship that’s breaking you]
8. They text a lot.
Texting all day is great, nice and good, but when it’s unnecessary and too much, there’s a reason for it. They want to continually communicate with you for a reason. They need to know that they are interested in you. It’s one thing to text a dinner plan or send a meme during your lunch break. But when they need a quick answer when they ask about your day. some things are not right
9. Being all over social media
The person who owns it will post a lot of your photos on social media. They want the world to know that you belong to them. They will know a lot about your online activities.
If someone complimented your selfie and you liked the comment. They will ask you why you did that. and accuse you of inciting other people’s attention [Read: 15 serious warning signs of a clingy partner and why you should avoid them]
10. They try to limit your freedom.
This can be on many levels. But it’s very common in possessive relationships. They will feel guilty that you are at home with them instead of with their friends. They will invite themselves along so you don’t have time to leave them. Or they might ask who you’re messaging or make you unfollow someone on social media.
11. They accuse you of betraying them.
This is important! I’ve dealt with it in past relationships. If you don’t tell them there’s someone new at your job and they know. They will accuse you of not welcoming him. They will go a long way even if you haven’t done anything wrong. But in the end, you have to apologize because they tricked you into feeling bad for hurting them.
12. Unstable mood
The person who owns the relationship cannot control their emotions. This is another reason they feel the need to control you. They will fly out of the handle at the smallest thing. may you have a good night But if you do little things like answer the phone They will be angry or make you feel bad. So you ask them to forgive you. [Read: 15 signs of manipulation in a relationship you should never ignore]
13. They rely only on you.
Owners tend to have small groups of friends when they are busy. They value you and your relationship very much because they have nowhere else to go. They put all your needs, desires, and interests on you. And expect you to do the same because they don’t have that support system.[Read: How to stop being codependent and have a healthy relationship]
How to Stop Ownership in a Relationship
If you recognize these tenacious behaviors in your relationship It’s time to stop making excuses and start doing something about it. An ownership relationship is never a good relationship. No matter what it used to be, relationships without trust or boundaries are bad for everyone. Can easily get out of hand and danger.
You can understand that the behavior of the possessive partner is driven by insecurity and fear. But it didn’t get it right. This understanding can help you talk to your partner without making excuses for their behavior.
You need to communicate your feelings to stop these possessive behaviors. You should let your partner know that you love them and want the relationship to go on. But you need boundaries and trust to feel safe for you. Let them know you are willing to work with them. Some people may not know So this conversation could be the start of their growth.[Read: How to talk about your feelings in a relationship and grow closer]
The best thing to do if you’re in a cherished relationship is to go to couples therapy. And encourage your partner to go to therapy on their own as well. Instead, fix what caused these behaviors in the first place. It is difficult to break down and change this form of ownership without help. Because usually this need for control is often deeply shaped in the past.
If your partner is reluctant to try or make these changes. It’s time for you to do something. Often, the possessive spouse will hear this, and the fear of losing you will begin. They may apologize and promise to be better. But usually their behavior will return without proper guidance.
if this happens It’s time to stand up. You deserve a healthy and respectful relationship based on trust. And this ownership relationship is not like that. You have to realize that love doesn’t always win. Having a cherished relationship will only negatively affect your life and future.
It can be difficult to end an possessive relationship because the other person can be manipulative and hopeless. But sticking to it and doing the right thing will benefit your life in the long run.[Read: How to stop loving someone and read the signs it’s time to walk away]
If you see signs that you are in an possessive relationship, It’s time to do something about it. You deserve a healthy, practical relationship.
If you want to know more about how to fix an ownership relationship or stop owning yourself. Check this feature in How to Stop Possession in Relationships and Learn to Love Better.