You might think there’s nothing like putting too much effort into a relationship. But sometimes too much effort can be worse than lack of effort.
We are constantly told to try to build relationships. Relationships are not easy, they take jobs, they need patience and communication. to the extent that all the truth is true There is something like putting too much effort into a relationship.
Yes, a successful relationship is not easy to have. But it should be worth the effort you put in. That relationship should add to your life and your partner should be equally devoted.
What is too much devotion in a relationship?
How do you know when you’re crossing the line from trying too hard in a relationship? It depends on your relationship.
If you regularly surprise your partner with romantic dates and expensive gifts, That might be normal for you. If that’s what you’re both comfortable with, great. but for other relationships not just overload But it can also leave a feeling of resentment and your partner feeling pampered.
Your efforts depend on what you and your partner expect. [Read: Healthy relationship expectations to define a good love life]
Take a step back and watch the balance. Do you go out of your way for them all the time? Do you spend time with their family and friends? If they do the same with you, great, if not. You may be putting too much effort into the relationship.
Are you putting too much effort into your relationship?
as i said The amount of effort you put into the relationship depends on you and your partner. But if you notice these things in your relationship There’s a good chance you’re putting in too much effort.
#1 you feel inferior Of course, we all have days or times in our relationships that we don’t appreciate. Maybe your partner is too busy with a project at work or stressed about something. But if your feeling of inferiority persists, it’s not the situation.
If you regularly feel that your partner doesn’t appreciate the effort you’re making to make them happy, big and small. You may be putting too much effort into the relationship.
This doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. You can use as much effort as you can. each other in a different relationship and are deeply grateful. It depends on how your partner views your efforts. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in the relationship]
#2 Relationships are more work than rewards. Like everything in life Relationships are both good and bad. Sometimes you argue and disagree. But sometimes you just can’t stop laughing. But if bad things outweigh good You may be putting too much effort into the relationship.
Relationships are hard work. but should feel worthwhile The effort to compromise and frail should feel worth every good moment and the joy you get from it. If you feel that it is more work than pleasure It might be time to reevaluate. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship you should always look for]
#3 Your needs are not met. Let’s look at the relationship from the other side. You’re putting too much effort into it, not just about what you do. It’s also about what you get in return. It may not seem like too much effort to take care of your loved one. help them spend time with family and even financial support
But if your needs are not met What you are doing takes too much effort by comparison. Even making dinner for your partner can be too difficult if they don’t do anything for you.
#4 They expect you to fit into their lives. If your partner spends your efforts in vain They may begin to expect that effort from you on a regular basis. It’s normal to get used to being treated to something. But when they expect you to fit in with their lives and schedules. You will start to feel overworked.
Do you have to change your plans to meet their needs? Do you only see their friends all the time? Do you go to their event? Of course, relationships require compromises. If you’re the only one who compromises, it’s not right. [Read: 16 discreet signs you’re always being taken for granted]
#5 you are exhausted If your relationship makes you more tired than work that’s a problem Your relationship should inspire and invigorate you. We all have problems. But if having a conversation with your partner makes you feel like it’s time for a nap It shows that you are putting in too much effort.
Spending time together and communicating should make things more enjoyable. It’s easier and makes you feel better, not worse.
#6 they manage you This is difficult to the eyeball. The idea behind manipulation is that you don’t really realize it. At least it wasn’t too late yet. If you find yourself questioning your actions after the fact or feeling inadvertently persuaded to apologize. Shows that you are stooping to find an unworthy partner.
If you put in too much Your partner may take advantage of your care and good nature. They are not worthy of your efforts. [Read: 12 subtle signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]
#7 They don’t give you time This is something I have had a lot of experience with. I have a relationship that I believe he’s just busy with. So I sent a message first. If I ask to hang out, he’ll make excuses. If something “better” comes along, he’ll flake.
But when it was convenient for him and he had no other plans. He would expect me to drop everything to meet him. When someone deserves your love and effort. They will give you time Even if it’s not convenient [Read: Are you feeling trapped in your relationship?]
#8 You are carrying the responsibility whether you are together or not If the burden of expenses cleaning and cooking is up to you. It shows that you are trying too hard in the relationship. Of course you want to have a good place. but as a partner They should be happy to help.
Did you buy a birthday card for your partner’s mother? Did you remind them of your anniversary? Did you get their clothes dry cleaned and made an appointment? should have a mutual relationship All responsibility should not rest on you.
#9 you make all plans Yes, I know. Some people are more spontaneous and not planners. But you’ll notice if you’re always planning. Whether you are the person who reserves the table Find vacation information or even send a message about dinner You try harder than your partner.
If they find that effort by doing something for you. that’s one thing But if you’re always asking for a schedule, set aside time, and get things sorted out, you’re putting too much effort into your relationship.
#10 You feel pressured. College exams are stressing you out. Presenting at work puts pressure on you. Even meeting your partner’s parents can be stressful. But if you feel like you’re being pressured to live up to your partner’s expectations of you, you’ll be fine. It shows that you are trying too hard.
Relationships should be your safe place. You should feel relaxed with this person. You need to have a lazy day and be completely yourself and feel good about it. If you feel ashamed of being yourself in a relationship It shows that you are putting too much pressure on yourself. [Read: Why double standards in a relationship are toxic]
How to Stop Trying Too Much in a Relationship
You may notice some of these things in your relationship. if so All hope is not lost.
You don’t have to pull back on the dedication. Most people who feel that they are trying too hard in a relationship are not true. They didn’t get the same effort.
So that your partner can benefit from the doubt. They may not know that you are feeling this way. They are not mind readers. So let them know Talk to your partner and let them know how you feel.[Read: 13 needy signs you’re too available for your partner]
Tell them you like spoiling them with dinner and spending time with their family. But you’ll appreciate it more if they do more for you. Whether it’s doing the laundry, throwing out the trash, or just saying thank you. They won’t know what you want or need without you saying it.
Now, if they become defensive and say your feelings are in your head. And they appreciate what you do. They will always rule you out. A good partner will apologize for not seeing this as how you feel. They will try to correct the behavior and make things more balanced.
Your partner’s reaction to realizing that you’re putting in too much effort tells you that you should try to balance them or let them go and find someone who is more worthy of your personality.[Read: 20 signs you’re wasting time in a one-sided relationship]
Putting too much effort into a relationship can become a problem if you don’t make the same effort. This can be dealt with with simple conversations, but if not, you deserve someone who deserves your love.