When your spouse says hurtful things It’s easy to overreact and take it personally. Instead, learn how to stay calm and work through the situation.
in a perfect world You will never have negative feelings towards your partner. But this is not a perfect world. There are times when you can’t stand up to your partner. and no matter what you do There will be controversy waiting for you. Especially when your spouse says hurtful things.
and when two people collide It happens that one party may inadvertently say something hurtful. That doesn’t mean your partner is a bad person or they want to hurt you.
When you’re in the heat of the moment, things come out of your mouth and take the argument down a completely different path.
These painful things can cause simple conflicts. and make it disproportionate One opinion can really change the way you see each other.
But you can work to make sure that when your spouse says hurtful things. You try to understand instead of letting things get out of hand. [Read: Why fighting in a relationship is actually important]
When your partner talks hurtful things
Wouldn’t it be nice if you and your partner were always kind and modest? Of course it will But that’s not true.
You’re both stressed and tired, and you say things you didn’t mean to. Those slipping can really do a lot of damage.
Before taking anything seriously in these moments, step aside. Is this what was said during hot times or a recurring problem? [Read: 15 MAJOR red flags you should never make excuses for]
It really takes time to respond. When we react to something that hurts the mind We tend to do that with things that are as painful as they are. together which will not help the situation
If your goal is to diversify the situation You have to take the time to look at it from a distance. Being in the immediate mood is something that needs to be dealt with. The reaction when you are injured will be overreacting.
What to do when your partner is hurting you
Maybe your partner will comment on your family. about your appearance or any insecurities you may have. Of course, they shouldn’t do that. But it might not be worth having a big explosion.
It was said; It’s gone and will never come back. All you can do is move forward. But it’s easier said than done.
You are hurt and deserve an apology. But the retaliation didn’t work. You need to take some steps to calm the situation and make things better, not worse. [Read: Why fighting in a relationship is important and advice for how to do it right]
How do you move forward after your spouse has said bad things to you? It’s not easy But it can be done And if you feel unforgivable Think about what you really want.
It’s time to heal your wounds when your partner hurts.
1. Do not attack back
When someone says a word that hurts you It’s easy to attack with your words. know It hits the point just because your spouse decides to say something that hurts you. That doesn’t mean you should do the same. It’s hard to hold your tongue when you’re in the mood. But you have to go the high way.
You might ask, why would I have to be a bigger person when I wasn’t one of them? But that’s not a good relationship. It’s not about getting Your partner has moments of weakness and hurts you. instead of hurting them Try to let it go any way you can. [Read: How to deal with the pain of feeling hurt]
The big mistake many people make when your spouse says that painful things are trying to forgive and forget right away. You don’t want to feel bad, so you keep trying. But that only leads to resentment. Those sensations that you swallow will eventually increase and explode.
Instead of spending time sad and hurt You don’t have to yell and scream. But go ahead and cry My partner accidentally said something that really hurt me. It took me a while for it to sink in and then I cried. I let go of those negative feelings.
It’s nice to really feel my emotions. And not just trying to ignore or move on before actually sitting with them. [Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel when you’re in a healthy relationship]
3. Take some time to cool off.
Your spouse just said something that really hurt you. This is not the time to argue further. There’s nothing to fix when you’re upset. Instead, step back and cool off.
You need some alone time to reassess the situation and think about what you said and how you feel about the whole situation. Let them know you’re going for a walk or going to another room. Take a moment to cool down and stay away from the pain right away.
This will help you see the situation as it is. Nothing will make what they say right. But the distance from the first pain gives you more reason. [Read: 6 things you should never, ever say in relationship fights]
4. Talk to your partner
But not in time. Sit down with your partner and talk about the argument. especially by discussing what they have to say. You don’t need to attack them. But let them know how what they say makes you feel.
Your spouse knows what they say. You don’t have to repeat them to make them feel bad. Start by saying “I feel pain when you say…” Let them know why they hurt you. Even if you know it’s not malicious intent.
Either they said something insidious or said something more profound that hinted at the problem behind them. You need to discuss it. [Read: How to tell you’re partner when you’re unhappy]
5. Put yourself in your pair of shoes.
This will be difficult. Especially when you’re in the middle of an argument. But look at the situation from your partner’s point of view. When you have a chance to step back Let’s see where they come from.
Have you ever had a bad day and put it off? what are they going through you don’t make excuses But try to see their side so you can come together more easily.
Instead of responding or wondering how to react when your spouse says something hurtful. Try to see how the two of you have different opinions and views. [Read: How a fight can help you grow closer to your partner]
6. Write down your feelings.
Not everyone is able to express their feelings verbally. It can be difficult to put that pain into words out loud.
You may have a partner who isn’t the best listener, too. in any case Write down your thoughts and feelings. This might be a way to help them understand how you feel and deal with it on their own.
after the argument Write down how you feel and what you are arguing about. This will help you reflect on what happened. Maybe it will open your eyes to other conversations that you need to have, or it can help you calm down and release negative emotions.
7. Remember that your feelings are correct.
You might tell your partner how their words made you feel. Right now, the best situation is for them to be aware of what they said and apologize. They should understand that even if they did not intend to hurt them.
worst case They tell you that you are overreacting and emotional. In this case, you need to know that your feelings are perfectly correct. Your spouse telling you that you overreact when you feel pain is a scorching and a form of manipulation. They don’t want to take responsibility and want you to feel bad instead.
You have the right to feel whatever you feel. If they don’t open up to listen to you and apologize. Maybe it’s time to talk in a different way. [Read: Selfishness in relationships and 15 tips to do the right thing]
8. think positive
Yes, your partner says hurts you. And I understand that your partner is probably your best friend. Someone you trust and rely on That means when they say something that hurts the soul. It cut even more deeply.
But you can’t let their words negatively affect you. I know it’s very hard to let go. But don’t let your partner’s words depress you and create insecurities.
Your confidence isn’t linked to their words. but was pulled from you Maintain your self-esteem so that you can enter the conversation knowing you deserve to be heard.
9. Take time to heal
When your partner says something that hurts you This won’t go away overnight. Even if you have good words and move forward. it will still sting
It may take a few days or weeks for you to feel it again. Not everyone forgives and moves on quickly when they are hurt by a loved one. And that’s okay. Take all you need Just be sure to keep communicating with them that you are working through it. Cold compresses will make things worse. [Read: How to get past emotional damage]
10. Find Relief
Try to do something creative to help yourself move forward. Don’t look at your ex or your ex on social media. Stay away. Talk to a trusted friend. Find creative solutions such as music or art, even going for a run.
These will help you release all your emotional energy in a healthy way.
11. Relationship Review
be your partner always Say something that hurts you? Or is this just one time?
if your partner is always say things that hurt you You should really look at your relationship. And see if you need a heartbreaking lover. Yes, everyone makes mistakes. But this shouldn’t be a permanent problem.
If they apologize, they should try not to let it happen again. If they apologize but keep doing the behavior. It would be a much bigger problem. You deserve to be with people who are responsible for their actions and words. [Read: Signs your relationship is doomed]
Whether you talk about it and move forward or not. learn from this experience Don’t try to forget because it hurts. What did you study? You’ve learned that when your partner is having a bad day. Are they emotional? Did you learn that you need to spend more time before discussing things?
Take something from this and try to use it moving forward. Most likely this isn’t your first fight and probably not your last. [Read: 25 signs of disrespect in a marriage that shouldn’t be tolerated]
13. Ask for help
Look, relationships are not easy. And though you may love your lover But you may have a different way of expressing yourself. Lack of communication and understanding can cause frustration. Which is why your partner says hurtful things. That’s it. one possibility.
If you find yourself in these situations often. You may have a pattern You two don’t get along very well with how you handle conflict. may seem like a lot But a couple’s counselor can help you understand the root of the problem and provide exercises to work together.
Counseling shouldn’t be a last resort in a relationship. Asking for help together shows a willingness to resolve your issue. Doing this before it’s too late is the real way to fix things. [Read: How to know if relationship therapy can help your romance]
14. Talk about it
Again, I really want to highlight this. If you don’t appreciate what your partner says to you. Lets talk to your partner. Your partner may not know how their words affect you. Maybe they have thick skin and don’t know you’ll be hurt by what they say.
whether they know it or not They also need to know where your boundaries are. You deserve to be treated well. Even if you didn’t mean to hurt. Don’t believe your feelings aren’t important. You should feel confident sharing those feelings with your partner. [Read: Intentionally hurting someone we love – Why we do this, and how to stop]
15. Don’t Blame Yourself
Many have concluded that when a spouse says something that hurts the heart it’s their fault They believe they must be wrong to have their partner say these things.
If you believe your lover won’t hurt you if you don’t deserve it. show that you are wrong This is not your fault You don’t have to apologize for feeling hurt.
I’ve heard a lot of people asking what to do with my spouse’s hurtful talk. But it’s not up to you. all you can do is express Behavior change must only come from them.[Read: How to avoid the awkward tension after an argument]
Sometimes we say things we regret later. When your partner says hurtful things Follow these steps to treat and find a solution.